Excellent!! – here is one based on Calvinism’s world of double-speak.
Our father in heaven:
Who (at the foundation of the world before Adam existed) “predestined”, “decreed”, “determined”, “rendered-certain”, “fixed in the past”, “made infallible and unchangeable” — every neurological impulse that Adam, I, and every other creature in the course of time will ever have.
Hallowed be the (TRUE and FALSE at the same time) immutability and infallibility of thy decrees.
I thank you for John Calvin’s wise instructions – that I am to go about my office AS-IF the doctrine of decrees are both TRUE and FALSE at the same time.
Give me this day, my daily dose of double-think. And increase my expertise in double-speak, with which I both assert and deny every proposition – TRUE one minute – FALSE the next.
Lead me and lead me not – into every GOOD-EVIL neurological impulse. But deliver me and deliver me not from GOOD-EVIL – according to the secret council of thy will.
Because – as Jonathon Edwards teaches – the glory of goodness would scarce shine forth without the glory of evil.
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I still say God gave Calvinism to mankind as a form of entertainment. :-]
God is Open 
Excellent!! – here is one based on Calvinism’s world of double-speak.
Our father in heaven:
Who (at the foundation of the world before Adam existed) “predestined”, “decreed”, “determined”, “rendered-certain”, “fixed in the past”, “made infallible and unchangeable” — every neurological impulse that Adam, I, and every other creature in the course of time will ever have.
Hallowed be the (TRUE and FALSE at the same time) immutability and infallibility of thy decrees.
I thank you for John Calvin’s wise instructions – that I am to go about my office AS-IF the doctrine of decrees are both TRUE and FALSE at the same time.
Give me this day, my daily dose of double-think. And increase my expertise in double-speak, with which I both assert and deny every proposition – TRUE one minute – FALSE the next.
Lead me and lead me not – into every GOOD-EVIL neurological impulse. But deliver me and deliver me not from GOOD-EVIL – according to the secret council of thy will.
Because – as Jonathon Edwards teaches – the glory of goodness would scarce shine forth without the glory of evil.
————————————————————————————————————–
I still say God gave Calvinism to mankind as a form of entertainment. :-]