The problem with your anti-calvinism cartoon is simply this: Sinners are spiritually dead. Therefore, if your cartoon was to be an ACCURATE representation of the salvation process, the calvinist would be asking the other guy “How do children come to your door for candy if they are dead?” AND “Why would they come to your door if they hate your guts (Romans 8:7&8)?” AND “How do they come to your door if their nature is to never seek anyone who gives out candy because not only do they hate your guts, they hate your candy (Romans 3:11) because they don’t know they’re lost and they don’t want your Jesus?”. Thus, regeneration of the sinner must precede the positive spiritual ACTIONS of that sinner. You can’t expect a sinner to ACT like a new creature in Christ – that is to seek the TRUE thrice-holy God of the Bible and to want to receive spiritual blessings from that God – if they don’t have a nature that is willing or able to do those things – things that only a twice-born believer in the Lord Jesus Christ wants to do and is able to do (Php 4:13).
1: It’s an illustration of a concept. Me asking for clarification through the use of an illustration does not and should not have to adopt all the crazy premises that my critic has in their head. Notice he asks me the original question. I’m figuring out what he even means. He failed to establish any of the premises you propose and in answering his question to me, we adopt my system.
2: this event actually happened and played out just like the cartoon. The Calvinist was Sye Ten Bruggencate. Calvinists are cartoon people:
God is Open 
The problem with your anti-calvinism cartoon is simply this: Sinners are spiritually dead. Therefore, if your cartoon was to be an ACCURATE representation of the salvation process, the calvinist would be asking the other guy “How do children come to your door for candy if they are dead?” AND “Why would they come to your door if they hate your guts (Romans 8:7&8)?” AND “How do they come to your door if their nature is to never seek anyone who gives out candy because not only do they hate your guts, they hate your candy (Romans 3:11) because they don’t know they’re lost and they don’t want your Jesus?”. Thus, regeneration of the sinner must precede the positive spiritual ACTIONS of that sinner. You can’t expect a sinner to ACT like a new creature in Christ – that is to seek the TRUE thrice-holy God of the Bible and to want to receive spiritual blessings from that God – if they don’t have a nature that is willing or able to do those things – things that only a twice-born believer in the Lord Jesus Christ wants to do and is able to do (Php 4:13).
1: It’s an illustration of a concept. Me asking for clarification through the use of an illustration does not and should not have to adopt all the crazy premises that my critic has in their head. Notice he asks me the original question. I’m figuring out what he even means. He failed to establish any of the premises you propose and in answering his question to me, we adopt my system.
2: this event actually happened and played out just like the cartoon. The Calvinist was Sye Ten Bruggencate. Calvinists are cartoon people: